BUY THE BOOK
Sure, college equips you with vast knowledge of iambic pentameter, plate tectonics, and Pygmy tribal rituals. But do you know how to fake a rèsumè? Can you get a copy machine to sort, stack, and staple 3,000 pages for your violently insane boss? These are the real issues of the Real World and-surprise!-they don’t teach them in college…
Before he got married, before he turned uncool, and way before he got a minivan, Dan talked to National Public Radio’s Liane Hansen about his first book, that perennial graduation gift that smooths the transition from dorm to dump, keg party to cocktail party, classroom to office cube.
Ten Trick Interview Questions: Think Before You Answer
1. How did you choose your college?
WHAT YOU THINK: It was the only one I got into.
2. Tell me something you learned in school that could be used on the job.
WHAT YOU THINK: That Aristotle emphasized the observation of nature and stressed that virtue is a mean between extremes.
3. What have you been doing since graduation?
WHAT YOU THINK: Groveling before people like you for a job.
4. Are you willing to take a drug test before being hired?
WHAT YOU THINK: Oh my God.
5. Where do you want to be five years from now?
WHAT YOU THINK: In Barbados.
6. What’s your biggest flaw?
WHAT YOU THINK: What are you, my mother?
7. How long do you plan to stay with our company?
WHAT YOU THINK: Until the interview is done.
8. Why did you leave your last job?
WHAT YOU THINK: Job?
9. Do you have any questions for me?
WHAT YOU THINK: What’s the deal with that thing in your teeth?
10. Tell me, hotstuff, what are you wearing underneath that sexy suit?
WHAT YOU THINK: Diapers.
POP QUIZ: Are You Living in the Real World?
- The Little Miss and Mr. Me Me Me Parody Series
- Dan Gets a Minivan: Life at the Intersection of Dude and Dad
- The Day I Turned Uncool: Confessions of a Reluctant Grownup
- The Nearly-wed Handbook: How to Survive the Happiest Day of Your Life
- Entry-Level Life: A Complete Guide to Masquerading as a Member of the Real World