The Minivan Diaries

Dan’s Daily Flu-Fighting Tips (Day 2)

Seal mucus membranes.

Runny nose: The National Academy of Ear, Nose, and Throat Doctors advises that all nostrils be sealed with surgical sutures. In areas where surgical sutures are in short supply, swimmer’s nose plugs are advised. Clothespins affixed to the nose are recommended in areas where nose plug supplies are scarce. The use of tissues is highly discouraged as they have been shown to collect in open trash receptacles and become breeding grounds for contamination. The blowing of noses should therefore occur into a handkerchief, ascot, or plush bath towel that should be dry-cleaned immediately following nasal contact. (Note: The International Council On Infectious Disease does not recommend dry-cleaning ascots made of 100% silk, as they tend to develop a slight dullness over time.) In parts of the country where handkerchiefs, ascots, and plush bath towels are in short supply, Clorox Wipes are advised.

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