The Minivan Diaries

Dan’s Daily Flu-Fighting Tips (Day 3)

proper sneeze position.

Sneezing: Revising prior recommendations to sneeze into the crook of the forearm rather than the hand, the American Medical Association now requires all sneezing to be conducted within one’s shirt or blouse collar, which must be pulled up over the chin, lips, nose, eyes, forehead, and scalp prior to releasing a sneeze or series of sneezes. Once the cranium is completely concealed within the shirt or blouse collar, sneezers are advised to grasp the shirt or blouse collar at the top of the head, twisting vigorously in a counter-clockwise fashion to seal in contagions. Please hold this position for four-to-six hours. Eyeholes may be cut out to facilitate sight if necessary. Note: Individuals in high-risk occupations such as hospital employees and childcare providers are urged to wear protective Berkas to the workplace.

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